My best friend called me out of the
blue a few days ago. We discussed being single and maintaining
(or not) friendships. We'd seen friends who date and, upon finding a
boyfriend, ditch their friends completely.
I've always tried to be the one that
didn't do that, although years ago a good friend of mine remarked
that I had done it a bit in my previous
relationship. Not to use an excuse, but thing is the activities I
did, as a single girl with my girlfriends, normally entailed partying
every weekend and flirting up a storm until 4 in the morning, and
then slovenly shoveling Denny's scrambled eggs into my mouth before
heading home, rolling half drunk out of my friend's car and crawling
into bed. Unless I'm doing those same things with a boyfriend, I
don't think that kind of behaviour is conducive to being alert for a
date the next day.
When I say it's important to make time
for friends, I mean making time for friends. So, not spending
an hour dissecting the man's phone call, nor checking for his texts
every 15 minutes. I mean quality time, boyfriend-free. This is
another thing I've tried very hard to do, but only my friends can
comment on whether or not I've been successful at it.
Why is this important? Because true
friends will be there when the floor opens up beneath you.
My friends were my lifeline when I got
dumped. I could count on a few of them to listen when I phoned to cry
and babble late at night. We went out and partied up a storm. They
let me crash on their couches when I couldn't stand being home alone.
People in your life are like handholds
while climbing a mountain. Some handholds are there to help boost you
up. Then, you have to leave them behind. They're not coming with you.
Some handholds you grab on to, and they
look secure but actually they come loose, crumble away, and
disappear. You have to quickly latch onto a tried and true handhold
so you don't fall.
The tried and true handhold is a true
blue friend. These handholds actually move and come with you,
to help you climb the mountain.
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